Sunday, July 19, 2009

Little Leaguers

Recently I had a friend tell my best friend something nasty behind my back. She pinpointed one of my major insecurities and denounced me as if it were as normal as filing her nails. I run in a small circle of friends and tend to idealize them all, so the blade felt twice as sharp midst this unexpected verbal attack. It's a useless and irrelevant thing to dwell on but I can't help but recollect the sour taste of high school frenemies.

Am I socially naive? I thought that age comes with tact but perhaps I misconstrue basic manners as generosity. After a year of living with boys I have forgotten how to analyze the connotative meanings in catty conversations. Boys always speak denotatively, and it becomes easy to forget. Better than easy even, I relish the simplicity of my daily repartees.

I feel like I am M.I.A to the exclusive club of undertones and implications. Is it wrong that I don't see any appeal to this secret society?

I will pledge my oath of allegiance to myself.
1) I will try to be as blunt and honest as I can.
2) I will try to laugh off malicious and petty betrayals.
3) I will try not to use uncalled for sarcastic undertones.
4) I will try to be a better friend.

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